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We, from the Midwest, don’t like it when…
1. You tell us your opinion. We have one too and if we aren’t close, keep that stuff to yourself!
2. You correct our kids and we’re standing within range. I’ll correct my kid, you shut up.
3. You correct us. At all. Ever. Simply be polite and smile.
4. People think of us as stupid. Just because we conjugate a word different than y’all do does not mean that our IQ score just took a nose dive.
5. You think we’re a bunch of farmers. First of all Chicago, Kansas City, Detroit, and Minneapolis are all cities. Big cities. And we don’t farm in the city.
6. We stand in Que lines quietly. We will start a conversation with anyone around us. It could be about the weather, a game, or even your family. Again, be polite and just have the small talk.
7. You tell us to stop apologizing. We apologize. A lot. Just find a friendly way to say “that’s alright”. Even if there isn’t any reason to be apologizing.
8. You act like a jerk wad and don’t hold the door for the old lady, mom with a car seat, or the perfectly healthy and fit gentleman walking ten feet behind you. Just hold the door open.
9. You let your lawn go to hell. Show pride for your property and yourself and cut the grass weekly during the warm months. It’s the least you can do for your neighbor.
10. We’re asked about tornadoes. It’s not like it’s a weekly activity of ours to go try to race into the eye of the beast or something. We just know what it smells like when they’re coming.
11. We become super self-aware of our quirks. We know we say “ope” “yeah, no” and “no, yeah” almost thirty times a day. But just… don’t point out when we do it.
12. You do not say “excuse me”. It’s rude. We do not like rude. Our children are saying “excuse me” from the moment they start forming two word sentences. It’s essential to polite living.
13. You show up to a cookout without something to eat. Always bring some sort of food with you. Even if it’s just a bag of chips.
14. You don’t know what the license plate game is. How is it possibly you got to adulthood without playing this game?
15. You don’t have enough cheese on something. Cheese is lifeblood, people. The cheesier, the better. Just always assume you didn’t add enough and then throw a little more on top of it!
16. Deer are around. Those bastards are idiots. They will see your car lights and then jump right in front of them. It’s why we love hunting season so much!
17. When someone from another city comes into our city and starts claiming that their city has better barbeque. I can promise you, it’s not better than our cities barbeque!
Listen, if you’re coming to the Midwest, brush up on your manners, learn how to small talk a little bit, and be prepared to make eye contact with strangers. We’re like the Labrador retrievers of human kind. We just want to be friends with everyone and we don’t mean to upset you with our friendly ways. And we really hope you’ll stop seeing us, one day, as simply fly over states.
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Hostage Situation in Progress… Part 2
The sun came out today. But we, sadly, did not. We stayed put. Like were obligated to do.
But you know who isn’t staying put? This freaking cardinal that decided to nest in the tree right outside my bathroom window.
Now, I’ve got nothing against birds, per say. But this one is making a play for numero Uno on my hit list. This little red jerk wad thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to spend every morning from the moment the sun comes up ‘til at least 2 in the afternoon, sitting on the ledge of my window to just peck and peck and peck at the window.
This window, by the way, is frosted. He cannot see anything inside at all. Why this blasted beast has chosen to come after my bathroom window is a curiosity indeed. But I got to hand it to the dumb little thing, he is resilient. I’ve smacked that glass more times than I care to count trying to finally scare him away and yet he returns minutes later to continue his incessant pecking.
Please dear reader, keep in mind I’ve actually known about this bird and his insane tendency for over two months. But it never bothered me before. However, it’s bothering me now!
Because now I’m stuck home, trying to find ways to fill my day and keep my kids active without getting in trouble. I’m stuck here, able to hear that tap, tap, tapping happening over and over again. I’m stuck here with very little to distract me from that tapping. He just keeps going. All. Flipping. Day.
So today we were tackling the shameful “craft room” which is located 9 feet from that frosted glass window. The girls were enjoying this bird’s crazy antics but me… oh heck no.
I would turn my back to take something out of the closet and like magic the bird would land, tap three times in rapid succession, and then just when I turn around to smack the window, he would fly off. Oh, how my darling daughters would laugh at this. What a fun game mommy was playing with the little red bird outside.
Truly, I am an animal lover. I like all animals. But this guy, he’s not your average bird. He’s clearly possessed and needs to be taken care of. Anyone know of a decent BB gun that could take this red rascal out? Heck, at this point I’m willing to put up with my cat allergy and getting one of those to take care of this.
On the plus side, I was able to clean out and organize that craft room/closet space. I can now open the door all the way and walk fully into the room. My girls now think it’s going to be the best hiding spot for our next game of hide and seek and my boys can now get all their model projects out of there and actually put them together. So it was a win all around.
Except for the dang bird. He is going to lose after this day!
Also great news is that brilliant husband of mine discovered the issue with the car and was able to get all the parts today. I can see the end in sight people! I will be free again soon!
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Hostage Situation in Progress…
On Sunday my car started acting funny. We were 14 minutes from home when a red light came on saying the transmission was overheating. So we pulled over and Eric checked it out.
Sure enough the car was leaking transmission fluid like a sieve. Now Eric knows quite a bit about cars. In fact, back in the fall he had to take the transmission out to fix the flywheel (you don’t have to know what that is, but it’s important for the car to go vroom vroom). So he tells me were just going to have to pray really hard that we can get it home and in the garage while it drives the whole way in first gear.
Prayer was key here, because I certainly didn’t think this was going to happen. It didn’t work last fall when the transmission busted, and boy let me tell you, that led to the world’s biggest headache I have ever personally experienced. But what should have taken 10 minutes to drive ended up taking us almost 30 minutes. We were, thankfully, able to get it all the way home and in the garage.
Now comes the verdict. Husband climbs under that giant hunk of metal to check out what we are dealing with. And sure enough, comes back out to tell me it’s not a quick fix. He’s going to have to take the whole front end of the car out again to get the transmission out and then take the transmission apart to see which of those gaskets doesn’t want to hold up its end of the bargain here, so we can replace it.
I looked to him with fear in my eyes… “How long do you think this will take? Can I drive to get the boys from school tomorrow?” I asked him, ever so hopeful.
Now my husband is a great man. He understands his wife better than I know myself. He knows that without my car I’m stuck in my house with my children with no chance of a furlough. And he know that’s not good for anybody involved. But, sadly, sometimes things are out of his control. So he has to tell me the terrible truth. I’m going to be car-less for at least the week.
A WEEK!
But not just any week. Nope it’s the week where my boys have Thursday and Friday off school. It the start of spring break for them. I was already promising trips to gymnastics, and the zoo, and all different parks. And now were all basically grounded.
I woke up this morning, day 1 of this hostage situation, and saw that even God was sad for our situation and wept with us, as it pours buckets of rain on us. It feels almost like the Almighty is saying, “see it’s no fun outside anyways, staying inside won’t be so bad”. But I know the rain can’t last the week. I know tomorrow the sun will come out and dry it all up and we will still be stuck here.
I’m trying to see this as a positive though. I like positives. So I’ve sat here all afternoon and made myself a little weekly schedule during my captivity.
It’s not quite spring but that doesn’t mean I can’t get a jump start on the cleaning. I plan on cleaning out all the things that don’t get cleaned very often. Like the fridge, the catch-all cabinet, and under the sinks. I hope to organize my kitchen cabinets and maybe make them more user friendly. Hopefully I can organize my “craft room”, which is really, currently, just my fancy name for this large closet that we keep throwing stuff we don’t know what else to do with or where else to put it.
See, I can find positives in this awful situation. And so long as my children don’t start climbing the walls, I’m sure we can make it through this.
I’m just really regretting our Lenten promise to give up TV now! :’(
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19 Awful Facts about Parenting and 1 Simple Truth
1. Rolled up diapers can spend three days on your dresser before ever making it to the trash.
Yes, I know. It’s unsanitary, but if you haven’t done this at least once than you may actually be eligible for instant sainthood. Sometimes midnight diaper changes happen, and sometimes the trash can (or diaper genie) is simply too far away to walk to when you’re exhausted. But you know what’s not too far?
Your friendly dresser top. You see, it’s got this great little corner that sticks out and says “here grab this on your way out”. And you’ll think to yourself that you’re only going to set that wet diaper there until the morning and then you’ll grab it and throw it away then. However, you know what happens in the morning?
So freaking much! You’re trying to get yourself ready, your kids ready, the baby ready, and out of the house at some specific time so you won’t be late and you never even think to look at your poor lonely dresser top. Then like magic, its midnight again and apparently your beautiful baby has a hate on for you this week because they’ve decided they need another diaper change. And you’ll do exactly what you did the night before, except this time you’ll stack that diaper right next to its counterpart and you’ll say to yourself “you HAVE to take that out to the trash in the morning. This is just gross”.
Then its mornings and you’re busy and your hands are full with a baby and a toddler and three cups that were snuck upstairs the night before, so once again those diapers sit on that lonely dresser. Until the third evening, when you walk in your room and right past your dresser and you’re forced to confront those diapers because a literal wall of stink has taken up residence in your room. Now you have to do the parental walk of shame, carrying a handful of 3 day old diapers downstairs to throw away. Promising yourself the whole way that you won’t do this again, because you respect yourself and you respect your home too much to leave soiled diapers sitting around. And you stick to that promise…. At least until the next diaper change.
2.Getting spit-up on something does not make that item dirty. You can even wear it again.
I’ve actually seen grown men gag after watching one of my baby’s spit up. I’m completely serious. They gagged. I could hardly believe it. Then I remembered that not everyone deals with regurgitated milk twelve times a day. (Still though…. Gagging because of that?)
If I changed my outfit every time I got spit up on, I would run out of clothes in three days. And I’m not alone here. This is why burp cloths were invented! Because babies will spit up, and while you’ll try to catch it, you’ll only be successful about 60% of the time. The other 40% of the time you use the cloth and blot it off your clothes and within an hour it will be completely dry; No smell, no stains, and you’ve probably already forgot it completely. Hence the ability to wear those clothes again tomorrow.
3. Wiping a little poop on your pants never hurt anyone.
On average I would say my children have used roughly 4500 diapers, each, before being potty trained. Which means I’ve changed somewhere around 17,000 to 18,000 diapers as a mom. Give or take a couple times my husband has changed them.
Now let that number sink in for a second; 17,000 diapers. And that’s just in the last 8 years for me. So even if I was absolutely amazing at changing diapers and very proficient; always having the wipes right at my fingertips and diapers open and ready to exchange, you could still expect the occasional mishap with a baby. Now let me reassure you, I am so very far from perfect here. I still change diapers and get frustrated with them because they won’t open when using one hand, or the package of wipes is brand new and I have to now wrangle the flap off of it. And sometimes I get too confident and my child needs to remind me that surprises happen all the time and I’ll find a lovely little brown friend in the diaper I thought was just wet and must now go searching for the wipes that my toddler ran off with twenty minutes ago. Needless to say all of these factors add to accidents happening. Compounded with the fact that babies have a ridiculous penchant for having “blow outs” (that means they poop so much that their diaper simply cannot contain it all and it comes out on the sides and up the back) I can honestly say that I have had poop on my hands probably weekly since the moments I first became a mom.
After all this time I am fully comfortable with poop. Probably more than I should be truthfully but… what are ya gonna do? And because it happens so often and often times without even realizing it, I will get poop on my pants. And I just keep going on with my day.
4. Spoiled milk is not always the end of a sippy cup.
It is possible to save a sippy cup that has been left filled with milk in the car for three weeks. It is not pleasant to do but it’s possible. I’m sure parents everywhere know the importance of the favored sippy cup. They’ve probably bought three or four of the same one so as to never be without it.
You know which ones I’m talking about, the one that never leaks. You could throw this bad boy down the stairs, let it roll to a stop, then kick it across the hallway to your toddler and this thing never spills a drop. It’s a treasured prize in my house. Which is why when this cup has finally been found under the car seat after three weeks filled with what is now the most heinous smelling gelatinous milk, I was so resistant to simply throw it away.
Rest assured dear friends, you do not have to do that. It is actually possible to save the cup. Thanks to the internet and its occasional factual websites I was able to save my daughters favorite cup with some baking soda, vinegar, dish soap and surprisingly my freezer, but after two days it will get that smell out of there.
5.Toothpaste is going to make a much bigger mess than you ever expected.
No matter how much you wish your husband would put the lid back on, or how much you wish your wife wouldn’t squeeze from the middle, you will never fight anyone more than your child to please stop squeezing the toothpaste more than necessary.
Kids simply don’t understand that toothpaste once outside the tube is no longer usable (because yuck!). That doesn’t mean they won’t try though. I’ve watched my child open the drawer and see, what is possibly a week old glob of toothpaste, and just run his brush through it to use. Sure it still smells nice but half the globs of toothpaste in that drawer are so hard that you need a knife to get them out of there. It’s simply disgusting.
It’s awful how often my second son will grab his toothpaste and suddenly forget he doesn’t need to use his strangely hulk-like strength to squeeze the paste out, and in one good squeeze out comes 5 inches of paste for an inch long toothbrush! I bet you can see where this leads. 4 inches of unused toothpaste that cannot be put back in the tube now sits in the drawer just drying out and hardening. GAH!
6. Goldfish found in the sofa are still edible.
There’s a rule in my house that we only eat in the kitchen. This rule is often ignored by my husband and myself once our kids are in bed. But occasionally it’s also ignored by my children when something “super amazing” just happened on TV and they simply didn’t have time to set their food down before they missed it.
This has led to many crackers and pretzels being slipped between the cushions and under the couch over the years. I’ve also learned this lesson repeatedly, so it’s important to clean my couch out at least once a month due to this problem. However it wasn’t always this way. I used to go all year and never even contemplate vacuuming out that bad boy. But then I witnessed my kids on too many occasions grabbing those left behind crackers out of the cracks of the couch and just popping them in their mouth without a second’s hesitation. It didn’t matter to them if that crackers was covered in dog fur, dried dirt, or whatever other gross items get left behind. So remembered this and learn from my mistakes, kids are faster about finding those left behind crackers than I am at vacuuming, so just say no to food in the living room.
7. Under the cushion is also a trash can.
So your little kid has a cold. And they’ve discovered that Kleenexes help keep their noses dry while they lay on the sofa to watch TV and sleep. And since they are so comfortable in their cold induced slumber, they will take those snot filled tissues and simply slip them inside your cushions. One after another after another. So please just be aware of this fact next time your little snuggle bug isn’t feeling well. Always check the couch cushions afterwards. Or one day you’ll be looking for the remote and your hand will come away in a very disgusting state.
8.You will sit in pee that is not yours at 2:30 in the morning way more often than you’ll think to check for it first.
Let me start by stating unequivocally that I do not have any problem keeping a toilet seat dry. I sit down, I do my business, I clean up and I get up. Boom. Done. However, this is not the case for every boy under the age of 12. First, as we all know they don’t sit down, not since they grew tall enough to stand. But because we moms have never had aiming problems or ever been taught how to aim, this piece of critical information isn’t inherent in potty training for us. (At least it wasn’t for me when I first started potty training). Now here I am 7 years later, and at least once a week I will go to the bathroom and sit right in a wet spot that should not be there!
Helpful tip: use cheerios in the toilet seat as targets for aiming practice, it helps quite a lot!
9. You do not need a Kleenex or tissue to clean a snotty nose.
It’s a truth universally known that kids will have runny noses. And while being prepared is often key for big families, tissues run out. But rest assured dear friends, that your hand or the child’s own t-shirt can work in a pinch as a suitable Kleenex. Because let’s be honest it’s probably not the only thing they’ve got on their shirt anyways.
10. When viewed by a guest, a toilet will always have something left in it.
Kids will only flush the toilet when no guest is expected. But as soon as someone is coming over and you’ve just cleaned your bathroom in hopes of keeping up the façade that you have a clean house, your child will absolutely leave a lovely number 2 for your guest to find.
11. A fruit crisper is where food goes to die.
I used to have the cleanest refrigerator ever. Never had any leftover food or molded fruit left behind. Now the bottom of the fruit crisper is always, always, always full of little black, blue, red, and purple fruit bits that get left behind and smashed to the bottom of the drawer. I don’t know what it is about children that cause this phenomenon but fruit cannot be expected to stay in their little containers once kids are around and they will hop right out and roll around on the bottom of that drawer in hopes of making it to a lasting stain on a once clean fridge.
12. If you have long hair, the possibility of it staying clean is ZERO.
Ketchup, spit up, snot, ranch dressing, chicken bits, blood, vomit, and even poo will find it ways into those long beautiful tresses of yours. It happens. And that’s why women’s shampoos come in a varying array of beautiful scents and fragrances. It helps hide the smell of day old spit up. You have two choices ladies; cut it or deal with it!
13. Half chewed food is always under your table.
It might be possible that when food is spit out of a child’s mouth it grows legs and is then capable of moving. I sweep every night after dinner. And still in the morning I will find a Brussel sprout or a broccoli floret still under there. It wasn’t there the night before. Conclusion, they get up and move around. And their favorite place to finally rest in under the table where you just swept.
14. Lifting your child over your head will result in drool on your face.
Everyone loves being picked up. Babies and toddler especially. They love to be raised above their parents head and smiled up at. However because they love it so much, those gummy little smiles are so wide that drool will inevitably fall out of it and dribble onto your face. But you’ll do it again and again because that may be the best darn smile of your day and nothing will stop you from making that baby happy.
15. At least 4 times per child you will walk around in public with urine on your clothing.
Diapers have a capacity limit. Children love juice. Conclusion, the pee will come out, and it will be at the moment you’re feeding or holding them. Now you’ve got a lovely little wet stain on your shirt and no replacement for yourself. Just grin and bear it baby. You rock that look!
16. Potty training is not for the faint of heart.
If you like your rug or carpet, don’t get too attached, your child will ruin it when you’re potty training. Anywhere becomes a bathroom for a couple weeks.
17. A diaper genies capacity limit is really just a suggestion.
There’s a game we play in our house with the diaper genie. We hate taking this stinky vile thing out. So if you’re the one who puts the diaper that overfills the genie, then you’re the one who takes it out. This has led to the discovery that, with enough will power, that plastic contraption will magically expand and always hold at least one more. It doesn’t matter if you have to push with all your might and maybe the diaper explodes a little in the process (see fact #3) so long as you aren’t the person who has to take that bag out to the garage.
18. Sleep happens on urine.
Children wet the bed. Sometimes this means that in the middle of the night you have to change the sheets. And maybe sometimes you’re simply too tired to actually change them and instead you simply strip the bed with the slightly damp mattress and you lay a towel down in place and just go right back to sleep. Because it’s always in the middle of the night that you discover deep down just exactly what you’re willing to go through for a good night’s sleep!
19. What the heck is that smear on the wall?
This is a daily question in my house. Is it blood? Is it dirt? Is it poop? Is it smashed raspberry? Who knows! It’s a gamble and most of the time it’s easier to simply grab your friendly magic eraser and just wipe it away like it never existed instead of really questioning that one too deeply. Because sometimes it’s worse than you think it is.
1 Simple truth!
1. None of the 19 awful facts mean anything at the end of the day. Your children are the greatest thing that will happen to you. So smile and laugh about it. They won’t be that messy and little for long.
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Say Cheese
So this weekend my three year old turned four. How four years have passed already, I will never figure out. I’m pretty sure it was just last week that she was figuring out how to walk, right?
I know, I know, I sound like every parent out there. Unable to come to grips with the reality of time moving forward and children maturing. And just like all those other parents out there I’m always trying to slow it down or at least memorialize it somehow.
I wish I had a much MUCH better memory so I could simply close my eyes and see G as a baby girl again, but sadly my memory is awful. So I do what parents everywhere have done since the invention of the camera and I have photos taken every so often of my little ones.
It started with my first child. I was chronicaling his every move from the moment he was born. Every three months I had a different set of portraits taken at JC Penney’s to mark another big change in my little boy.
We would take our little guy to the store, have all these outfits and props we brought with us and try to fit this huge 3 month old baby personality into a 20 minute session. They would bring us in, set up the room, and then once every couple minutes they would take a picture. They always waited until the little baby was smiling and looking right at the camera. And at the time we thought this was great.
Then we were at a friend’s house who had all these cute candid pictures of their kids up all around and I started asking questions. “How did you get that picture to look so professional?” and “this one looks just like a something you would see a photogaphers studio”. To which my friends responded, that is exactly what they were.
But…but…but… they were candid. They looked carefree and relaxed. I mean over half of the pictures weren’t centered or smiling. They were all the innocent moments of infancy and toddlerhood. I wanted some!
When we moved back to the states after living in Canada, I started looking for a photographer that I could build a report with. One who understood a large family, how they work, and would be patient with us.
Patience was the key.
Just imagine if you will for a minute… getting five little bodies dressed in coordinating outfits that didn’t look like they have just been rolled all over. Then convincing at least two of them they were not in fact hungry right at this moment because we just had breakfast. Then convincing another one that the bow is facing the way it is supposed to face and if she moves it again her mother might come undone. Now imagine getting all five of these little bodies to follow very specific directions such as “tilt your head down” or “put your hands around you knees” or even “step a little closer”. And please keep in a mind that a little kid can’t distinguish what exactly “moving a little closer” even looks like because now they think the photographer wants them in the same physical space as their sibling and well… now there’s a meltdown.
These are all very real factors when getting pictures taken with kids. Frankly it’s completely exhausting getting one child to stand there and smile, let alone all of mine. I have to make sure I wear an extra layer of deodorant anytime we even attempt a family photo, because by the time we’re halfway done I’m sweating bullets and we haven’t even got one decent shot yet.
However, what we do have are lots of fun family moments along the way to that great family pictures. We have moments where someone was laughing so hard they throw themselves backwards off a box, or where someone gets antsy and decides now is the perfect time to twirl around, and we have times where Dad is just staring at his daughter like she’s hung the moon because she did something super cute. These moments are what parents really want. I’m not alone is this right?
If they’re a great photographer they’ll be catching these silly moments too. They’ll also be encouraging these moments. They’ll be patient as your kids figure out how to sit still all at once. And along the way you’ll start to get comfortable with this photographer.
I really wanted to find this person!
So after M was born I thought I would check out a new photographer for some newborn pictures. Someone who came to our house. (Gasp! I didn’t have to leave my house!) She was also someone who had been recommended by a very dear friend who understood just what I was looking for and knew how I could get it.
Let me tell you all… I hit the jackpot! This woman is phenomenal! I can’t get over how great she is with my kids. She is so patient. Waiting as we calm down a crying baby, waiting as we wrangle a sleepy two year old, waiting as I nurse the crying baby. She’s also seriously on top of it all. She caught every little mouth pucker moment and sweet baby yawn that any parent could want. She encouraged us to relax and that it will happen but it might take a moment. She never made me feel rushed to get a shot, or that I was failing because I couldn’t calm someone down.
I cannot express enough how important this was to us. Pictures always used to stress me out. I used to feel like I was failing as a mom because someone was always misbehaving, or starting a fight, or simply not paying attention. But Christina has corrected me of this misunderstanding. All families are like this she says. It takes time to catch those great moments.
Christina Paoletti is an absolutely amazing photographer and if I can help her find some business then I’m totally going to help her out here. Check out her website if you don’t believe me but just look at these shots! They’re absolutely perfect. http://www.paolettiphoto.com/
She is one of the most patient and kind women I have had the honor of meeting and can’t wait to work with her again for another set of shot when my little M turns six months old.
Getting pictures is still really important to me. These little guys only stay little for so long and I know I’m a pretty nostalgic person who loves looking back at the past. Having a photographer that I can work with and that easily becomes a friend as well is just icing on the cake for me.
I now have pictures that show my youngest three children’s true personality, as well as some moments that show them as sweet cherub angels that can do no wrong. I have pictures of pouts. I have pictures of love. And I have pictures of some of the best smiles my children can produce. Gosh it’s truly amazing what a great photographer can do for you.
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I Need a Refill Please.
So heres a simple but very true fact of being an adult. Friends are hard!
Its so easy to get lost in the challenges of life; be it work, romance, or parenting, and completely neglect outside relationships. But another essential truth to adulting is…. we need friends!!!!
We need these people! Someone that we choose to keep in our lives. People who have proven to be your champion, cheerleader, and confidant. People who have seen your worse and given you their best, without reserve, without judgement, and without expectation. We need people that keep us going when things get tough. People who cheer us on when we start succeeding. People who wont let you put your hand in the fire, and will guide you, always, back to the light.
These people are essential to help you reach your full potential in life, help you become your best self.
So today I woke up feeling overwhelmed in my house. It wasn’t anything major causing these feelings either. Just the normal everyday life for a mom of five; getting everyone up and ready to get the boys to school, making sure they all ate their breakfast, stripping sheets off a bed after a nighttime accident, and getting Wednesdays laundry started. But I had to do all of it on very little sleep, since our little M decided sleep is for the weak, and I was up with him for half the night.
I saw everything I had to do this morning as if they were just huge tasks to be completed. Nothing appeared to want to go my way. Two of my kids wanted to fight waking up, and took four different warnings to actually start getting dressed. The towels I forgot I put in the dryer the night before didn’t fully dry so I was unable to switch out the laundry loads and get started on the Wednesday laundry. P decided she preferred her milk in a coffee mug instead of bottle, and then proceeded to spill 40% of her milk on the floor. And while normally these things don’t get to me, this morning it was just a little more than I wanted to handle.
Then G starts asking about the plans for our day and all I can think about and see is messes all around me. I need to vacuum, and mop, and the half bath has about a billion band aids scattered on the floor that still needs to be picked up, and I didn’t get a single thing printed out for preschool today so I’ll be using workbooks again and making up some flash card game on the spot. I need to make prep bags for my morning smoothies, and get the next five days worth of oats prepared. Not to mention, I still have to fix the boys curtains… and the list goes on and on.
Truly none of these things are new or bothersome to me on a normal day.
But today was different. I didn’t handle this morning well. I realized I needed to take a minute and figure out what was important. and I concluded that what really needed to happen was that I needed a refill!
What I mean is, I needed my friends. I needed the people who are always supporting me and telling me I’m not screwing up, and can commiserate with me about the never-ending task list of things to get done. I needed someone to reset my internal “mom-guilt” clock back to zero before it ate me alive.
Adulting is hard. Parenting is harder. Friends, though, can make it fun!
Five years ago, I never would have guessed that I would be able to surround myself with allies at the drop of a hat. That I would have people in my corner that understood, deep down, how hard this morning was to handle. I never would have believed that five years ago.
So, five years ago I was living in Canada with two little boys and a husband who worked 13 and 14 hour days. My closet family member was in Chicago, more than 9 hours away. I had just experienced a miscarriage that set me into a terrible state of depression that lasted the entire Canadian winter. I felt so alone back then and I can remember telling Eric that I needed friends. But, I made the excuse that it didn’t make sense to try and make friends, when we would just be moving home in a few months… It was rough.
You see, back then I was also still pretty awkward, and basically a huge dork. I didn’t think I had anything to offer, friendship wise, and figured “what was the point” in trying. So I spent several long early years of motherhood attempting to figure it out on my own.
Thankfully, that did not last.
We did move home that summer, and I got pregnant with G. But one of the best parts was we joined a new church. A church that had an 8 am mass! This was awesome. Going to mass when our kids were still tired enough to not drive us insane meant we cold actually hear what the weekly gospels were about, but it also meant we got to look around occasionally and see the other families in the church. This is where my life started to change in a big way.
One Sunday morning after mass I took a huge leap of faith. I could feel that God was telling me that I needed to find new relationships in my life. That I didn’t have to feel so lonely. I felt compelled to try and make a new friend.
I had seen this woman several times and often smiled at her, before I finally worked up the courage to approach her and actually say hi. This was my first step into a new world of relationships for me.
This one women gave me more courage in a single ten minute conversation after mass than I had had in the last three years combined. She was thankful that I approached her and sought out a friendship. While I was so grateful that she didn’t reject my awkwardness right away.
After this exchange happened, we started play-dates for our children. First it was the library, then the park, then we met for a weekday mass. She brought along a friend who quickly endeared herself to me as well, and I could see the three of us growing to be closer.
During this same time I was also making friends at the morning “coffee and doughnuts” after mass with another set of women. Women who were like me. Awkward and unsure of how to make adult friends. Women who wanted that close companionship but didn’t know how to do it. We actually managed to build our friendships on these ideals. The ideals that we had no idea what we were doing but we would figure it out together.
These women have grown in the last three and half years to become essential to me and my family. My children’s best friends are their children. My husband’s camping buddies are their husbands. They’ve grown to become such an integral part of our lives that I wouldn’t know down from up if I were to suddenly not have these ladies in my life.
They constantly fill up my cup. They remind me how human we moms are allowed to be. They help me to recognize when I have unrealistic expectations for myself. They pray with me when I cant see through the dark parts of life. And they lift me up constantly.
These wonderful ladies have taught me one essential fact of life, that if I can pass nothing else along to my children, it will be this… find good friends. Find people who will stand in your corner. Find people who want to see you happy and successful and loved. And then love them back just as much! Find people who can be your refill.
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I’m so over Chicken Breast
I’m going on record right now and telling anyone who cares or is reading, that I’m so over chicken breast. I get it already! “It’s super healthy for you”, “Its packed with protein”,”if you want to lose weight its your best friend”.
But you know what else it is… boring! Its boring if you want to use it to lose weight. You can’t fry it. And adding cheese to it is a big no-no. Smoothering it in marinara sauce is also frowned upon, especially when you add some delicious spaghetti noodles with it. Yummmmmm spaghetti!
But I digress, back to chicken breast, you fiend! You ruined Sunday dinners for our family. What used to be a day for roast beef, and meatloaf,and homemade Salisbury steak slathered with gravy, is now just another day for grilled chicken with a lite seasoning on it. I mean at this point we’ve bought every single chicken seasoning packet and jar on the shelves and tried it. Those packets and jars, they take boring chicken and make it boring chicken that now my kids need to choke down with ketchup.
And trust me I’ve looked on Pinterest for good healthy chicken recipes until my eyes bleed, but its just a bunch of grilling chicken with new seasonings. Kids don’t want seasoning on their chicken, they want cheese on their chicken. And its not just the kids. I want cheese too. (Ohhhh cheese!!! How I love you!) Or they want to fry it and put some buffalo sauce on it, or roll it in bread crumbs, or throw it in with their pasta. Gosh I’m so hungry right now for some good chicken I could cry.
But you know whats in my oven cooking right now as I type…. its chicken breast. Boring chicken breast seasoned with some red flakes they called “kick it up” chicken seasoning that every single one of my kids will ask to dip in ketchup in twenty minutes. Which I’ll say yes to because deep down I really want to dip it in ketchup too!