We, from the Midwest, don't like it when...

1. You tell us your opinion. We have one too and if we aren’t close, keep that stuff to yourself!

2. You correct our kids and we’re standing within range. I’ll correct my kid, you shut up.

3. You correct us. At all. Ever. Simply be polite and smile.

4. People think of us as stupid. Just because we conjugate a word different than y’all do does not mean that our IQ score just took a nose dive.

5. You think we’re a bunch of farmers. First of all Chicago, Kansas City, Detroit, and Minneapolis are all cities. Big cities. And we don’t farm in the city.

6. We stand in Que lines quietly. We will start a conversation with anyone around us. It could be about the weather, a game, or even your family. Again, be polite and just have the small talk.

7. You tell us to stop apologizing. We apologize. A lot. Just find a friendly way to say “that’s alright”. Even if there isn’t any reason to be apologizing.

8. You act like a jerk wad and don’t hold the door for the old lady, mom with a car seat, or the perfectly healthy and fit gentleman walking ten feet behind you. Just hold the door open.

9. You let your lawn go to hell. Show pride for your property and yourself and cut the grass weekly during the warm months. It’s the least you can do for your neighbor.

10. We’re asked about tornadoes. It’s not like it’s a weekly activity of ours to go try to race into the eye of the beast or something. We just know what it smells like when they’re coming.

11. We become super self-aware of our quirks. We know we say “ope” “yeah, no” and “no, yeah” almost thirty times a day. But just… don’t point out when we do it.

12. You do not say “excuse me”. It’s rude. We do not like rude. Our children are saying “excuse me” from the moment they start forming two word sentences. It’s essential to polite living.

13. You show up to a cookout without something to eat. Always bring some sort of food with you. Even if it’s just a bag of chips.

14. You don’t know what the license plate game is. How is it possibly you got to adulthood without playing this game?

15. You don’t have enough cheese on something. Cheese is lifeblood, people. The cheesier, the better. Just always assume you didn’t add enough and then throw a little more on top of it!

16. Deer are around. Those bastards are idiots. They will see your car lights and then jump right in front of them. It’s why we love hunting season so much!

17. When someone from another city comes into our city and starts claiming that their city has better barbeque. I can promise you, it’s not better than our cities barbeque!

Listen, if you’re coming to the Midwest, brush up on your manners, learn how to small talk a little bit, and be prepared to make eye contact with strangers. We’re like the Labrador retrievers of human kind. We just want to be friends with everyone and we don’t mean to upset you with our friendly ways. And we really hope you’ll stop seeing us, one day, as simply fly over states.